marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
A bitchslap is in order.
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