wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
