I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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