maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
