That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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