i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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