Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
