So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
