how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize