Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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