I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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