Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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