better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
