hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize