He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
