I need help removing her.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
