Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
