You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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