There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
not ubering you a puppy
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize