You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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