Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
