your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize