Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
