she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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