I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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