we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
