no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
