If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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