so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Drake has all the answers
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
