Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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