suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
There r osticjed everywhere
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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