You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
