Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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