Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
