Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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