I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Randomize
