I feel like I'm in dance class right now
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
