i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
