We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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