After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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