I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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