Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
