you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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