I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize