No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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