..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
