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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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