so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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