My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
