she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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