I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
