i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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