It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
where are you?
Hypothermia
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Someone signed my nipple.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
