I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
