STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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