Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
