We're facebook friends in real life
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
i've created a new STD.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Randomize
