So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
