the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
