I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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