You just made me feel so damn special
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
