She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
