i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize