yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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